If You Love Someone Who Is Infertile

Bob Stewart

With one in seven couples now struggling with infertility, chances are that you know and love an infertile woman. But, does your loving her translate into her actually feeling cared about and cared for as it relates to her anguish about this most intimate and excruciating of crises? That is indeed a more difficult question. I know. Because I loved my wife, Shari, through the eight IVF procedures which brought us our sons. Sadly, I must admit to you that she did not always feel my love during those dark days. Too often, instead of feeling cared for she felt my awkward efforts to fix her. Instead of feeling heard she heard me change the topic. Oh, it was surely painful as well for me as her infertile husband. Infertility had stolen my fun loving bride. Her once and future prince had become a sperm donor. The futility of my misdirected efforts made me want to escape...and too often I did just that.

I can vouch for the hard reality that the mistakes one makes here leaves scars that never completely fade. And, I am also here to promise that what you get right during the challenge of really loving an infertile woman, whether you are her husband, girlfriend, or family member will become pure relationship gold which will accrue dividends lasting a lifetime.

Expectant Heart is here to help you and the infertile woman you love to navigate the turbulence of infertility. I wish I had had this resource when I was in your shoes. We won’t falsely promise a new technique to help you fix infertility. But, we will promise to share with you the do’s, as well as the don’ts, so that whatever relationship exists between you and the infertile woman you love will become ever stronger, more connected, more precious to each of you as she pursues her heart’s deep desire for a child.